Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
