yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
