It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
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Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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