you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
