ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
