Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
