I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
