You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
where are you?
Hypothermia
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
