I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
