What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
