And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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