How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
