i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
