Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
