That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
