Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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