Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
