i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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