So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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