Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
now i know why i became what i already was.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
