Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
