he thought i was a dude.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
