so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
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Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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