new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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