You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
