So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This is classic penis vs brain.
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