Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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