She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize