All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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