So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
wow bdsm is so cute
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
