Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
