is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
