Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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