So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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