Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
