Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
