it was like his penis was on wheels.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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