No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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