chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
