all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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