I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
