Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
