Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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