You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
