You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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