I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
