Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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