I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So much rum. So many feels.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
