dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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