We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
