Me too!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
