Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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