just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
