You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
