dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize