no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
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Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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