i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
