I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
