In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
