Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
