There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
