They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
