I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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